Hanging in There

Or I'm trying to... I'm pretty sure I need to go in to get my medication changed or adjusted. I've had some pretty down in the dumps times lately. I've been crying more often, and sometimes feeling pretty discouraged. Today we were supposed to go have some fun family time together, either at a state park or the Farmer's Market, but we stayed home. Mark let me take a long nap.

I know God is looking out for me, but it's still hard to see the light at the end of this tunnel. Yes, even when I've seen how He can use this for me to touch other people hurting and going though the same thing.

My sweet Nathan is doing well, except he's totally living up to his nickname: "Zombie Baby." Mark calls him that now and then because, seriously, the kid does NOT like to nap during the day. I've probably goofed up by not sleep training and holding him so much. He's very sensitive to noise too. The weird thing is most of the time he really is happy and content. I'm hoping with the other two at school we'll be able to work on this a bit more. It is harder to get on a schedule or sleep train when he doesn't have his own room.

My other kids got good teachers for the fall, and I'm glad! It still feels so strange to think of Ellie going to school in the fall. She's totally ready, but I really will miss my little pal. On the other hand, it will be so much easier only having one child home during the day.

One other thing that's been heavy on my heart is this whole health care reform issue. I'm sure most of you know (or have figured out) I'm a fairly conservative Christian. You might also be more surprised to know I do believe some serious reform IS needed, but honestly, I am very concerned about the plans as they are. I grew up without health insurance and spent most of my early 20's without any. I've been there with medical bills I wasn't sure how I was going to pay. Even now with a fairly decent plan, we spend a lot on having our family covered very month. The cost of medical care is often truly insane; for example, we were sent to the ER when Ellie developed her second venous malformation. They did almost nothing other than weigh her, take her temp and blood pressure, and look at her arm. The total bill was about $1,700. Hm, must have been the crackers and juice they gave her when we were stuck there so long. Then we were told that unless she developed fever and chills that we could wait to see the surgeon. Ha, I could have done all that myself for no cost at all except getting a smaller cuff for my blood pressure unit! Medical costs and insurance have sky rocked, and there are so many people not getting care who need it. It's a messed up system. I do have some ideas floating around in my head of ways to improve it, but that's a post for another day. Please be gentle if you strongly disagree with me. I've been feeling rather fragile lately.

Right now I just keep trying to remember to pray and trust God. He does have the answers to our struggles and hurts.