It will not beat me!

I talked with my therapist yesterday, and if I'm not feeling better by early next week, I'm going to get evaluated to see if the Zoloft needs to be changed.

Wednesday was a very difficult day for me, but then Thursday was a good day once I got out of the house. We had a MOPS steering team play date and lunch...so nice! It was really encouraging, plus the kids had a great time seeing friends while splashing in the pool and getting sandy in the sandbox. After that, I picked up the kids' cousins for a play date. My mom came over as well, and watched the kids in the evening so DH and I could go out ALONE to dinner and to Barnes and Noble. So nice! Thanks, mom! I didn't have to remind Mark to sit up in the booth or to use his inside voice. ;) It's nice to have some time to date my husband.

Nathan also had big news on Thursday! He cut his first tooth! He actually did quite well, other than waking frequently Wednesday night wanting to nurse.

Friday I had a revelation that I need to establish more consistent routines for myself even on the days I'm not going anywhere. I've had some days where I just feel blah, and I don't bother getting dressed until late in the day. Seriously, my shower is about as good as my Zoloft. It's amazing what it does for me. There's nothing wrong with a PJ day now and then, but with my recent tendencies to get overwhelmed and down with the PPD, I need to take care of myself. Most of the time, Nathan is happy during the shower. If not, well, 15 minutes of fussing never hurt a healthy baby! I see so many moms say they just don't have time for a shower. Um, it's what a Pack N Play is made for once the baby is mobile. Oh, next week I purposely scheduled swimming lessons early for the kids, so it gets me ready and out of the house first thing.

Fighting Some PPD...

First of all, I'm woefully behind in blogging here. I'll leave the good news about Ellie for another post since I think most everyone is on FB already. In short, we're just watching the malformations and no surgery at this time.

Since I'm all too familiar with PPD, I'm pretty aware that I've been battling it recently. I want to be open and help others, but also be careful how I bare my heart on a public blog. I've been fighting some anxiety and insomnia. I tend to get really down on myself and easily frustrated and overwhelmed. Sometimes it's kind of like being in a fog. I have trouble making decisions even as simple as what to eat, or remembering things I should remember. Yesterday at our church picnic, one of my friends asked who had Nathan, and I couldn't remember the lady's name who was holding him! Of course, I knew who was holding him...her name just escaped me.

I'm not sure what I'll do at this point. I'm still seeing a wonderful therapist I met when I had PPD after Ellie. She was one of the study coordinators, and has been a big help to me. There are risks and benefits to medication changes, especially since I'm still nursing Nathan.

I'm grateful for my DH. He tries so hard to make things easier for me. Our carpets needed a good cleaning, more than what the carpet cleaner we own does. So he rented a machine, and spent hours cleaning the carpets for me. Sure, he likes them clean, but I know the real reason he did it for me.